i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
