I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
