Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
