I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
