carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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