look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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