This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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