1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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