I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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