you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
