$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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