I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
