i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
