i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
