check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
