It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize