I'm pants shitting drunk right now
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize