ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it because I queefed?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
