Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
