i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am mentally ready for anal.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
