after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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