WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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