I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
