I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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