I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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