You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
