im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize