Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
