you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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