apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
