Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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