She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Duck Duck Cougar?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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