I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
