I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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