hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ugly people sure do ruin things
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize