and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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