My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
nutella sex= disaster
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
