Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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