I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
