i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
