she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
