went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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