I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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