I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
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I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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