So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
