are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
