At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
there is glitter all over my balls
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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