I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's get the cat blown out
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
