The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
