I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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