Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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