i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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