Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
