My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
wow bdsm is so cute
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