i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
