I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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