If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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