My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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