If that was your dad, he is hot
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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