you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
