Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
