I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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