I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize