I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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