I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
